Editing Sacred Scriptures

I thought I'd try my hand at editing. I mean, how hard could it be especially seeing as no formal qualifications seem to be required? This should be a walk in the park.

But anyway, not wanting to run the risk of ruining any important literary masterpieces, I figured a nursery rhyme like "Baa Baa Black Sheep" was a good place to start. All I had to do next was choose the obligatory pen-name...

I settled on "Dried Waiter" (real name withheld to avoid likely incrimination... "any similarity to persons living or dead is purely coincidental and is in no way intended".) So here goes:

Baa baa black sheep Bleat bleat dark ovine

"Bleat bleat dark ovine,
Hast thou a fibre quantity?
Aye gent, aye gent,
Triple sacks replete.
A single unit for the head honcho,
Another for his lady true,
The last for the juvenile
Who resides on the avenue."

Bonzer! Ripper! No harm done at all! That was much easier than I thought it would be. What a terrific improvement I've made! Now I'm truly inspired..

Next, I will re-write the lyrics to the entire Beatles catalogue of songs. After that, who knows...? Maybe, I dunno, Newton's Law of Gravity, Einstein's Theory of Relativity... and seeing no-one is preventing me, I think The Adventures Of Superman could do with a bit of colour. Clark Kent would become Bill Gates. I could replace Lois Lane with Germaine Greer and Jimmy Olsen with Tiger Woods. Perry White has gotta be Donald Trump. This'll be a certain hit.

Indeed my 'pièce de résistance' will surely be my revised edition of The Holy Bible, Dried Waiter version. I can't wait. It will be completely rewritten to keep up with modern times. No more celibacy and strict discipline - out with tradition, in with political correctness. Married priests, gay priests, gay marriage, gay married priests, the list goes on - - - oh, I'm frothing at the mouth just thinking of the possibilities! No-one can stop me now, I'm on a roll...

[authorised and written by Bhakta Sam for the Australian Lullaby Party]

Precedents and Subsequent Plagiarisms

Baudhayana provided the first documentation of what was later to become known as the "Pythagorean" Theorem about 300 years before Pythagoras travelled to India and studied the Vedas in the course of learning yoga. Even though the knowledge predates Baudhayana it was orally transferred without writing it down, which is why his Śulba Sūtra is the earliest record of the theorem.

There is no evidence that Pythagoras claimed authorship and this was most likely ascribed to him by the Greeks in promoting their nationalistic fame and fortune. As a humble ascetic he opened a monastery and accepted disciples to spread the teachings of ancient Vedic wisdom that he brought back with him.  

This is just one of many incidences dotted throughout European history where credit was never given to the actual original source of knowledge, but instead was claimed by plagiarism. Always, there is a gap of a hundred, perhaps two or three hundred years - even millenia sometimes - between the original "discovery" and the European authorship. The famous early Greeks Hippocrates, Plato, Euclid, etc all sourced from the Indian Subcontinent and the later Europeans Fibonnaci, Newton, Pascal, Bell, etc were notoriously slow off the mark.

All of the "dicoveries" that made these people famous were preceded by examples. There is virtually not a single Art, Philosophy, Science, Law, Theorem, Proof or Doctrine that is purely their own work. The newly formed empires and sovereign states of Europe were devoid of the ancient history and culture of established civilisations of not just India but China and even Meso-America. Their plundering didn't stop at physical property - the wealth of intellectual riches was also mined.

Table of Precedents and Subsequent Plagiarisms:

Many Western "discoveries" can be traced directly to Eastern origin.

Dates for the various Vedas vary due to disputation by Western "authorities". In many cases they were passed down orally for centuries if not millenia. Written scriptures are a more 'recent' addition to the Vedas - only a few thousand years ago!